Things are starting to look up

Another late night post, man I really should try investing in a thing called sleep.

The past week has been pretty strange. My ex boyfriend wants to get back together after like a few days of separation but it's hard for me to really think about what is good for me, rather than going back to what is comfortable. I must admit, it isn't easy fending him off. What am I doing? What am I so afraid of?

But as Drake says "Oh yeah, that's right I'm doing me."

Who would have thought that focusing on yourself, rather than the happiness of other people would feel so liberating? Like really, it's great. Whenever people would tell me, oh do things for yourself don't think about what others have to think blah blah blah. That's all crap, in todays world you always have to be mindful of what others thing and say about you or else you aren't going to get anywhere. But when I actually started using this advice, I feel a whole lot better.

I'm starting to do things at my own pace. I'm going to go to the gym not because I want to, I'm finally getting around to hang out with my sorority sisters that I PLEDGED with.


The only thing that's stopping me from true and utter happiness is this god damn MCAT. Like wtf. I wish this shit can be over and done with already. I've nearly given up on medical school, I don't know why I prolong my inevitable defeat by actually studying for it. Hmm I guess this is the price you pay for your dreams, even though I fucked up in my academics so many years ago. One mistake trickles down to a huge mess in the end. July 30 is the day I will feel relieved. Because after then I get to go back to what I feel is my natural home. new York.

I don't know why I feel so good in New York. Maybe it's because I feel the fashion and the imperialism right when I get off the plane, or maybe it's knowing that he's there. But now,I get to go with no strings attached. I can be happy and finally see the rest of my life unfold. I hope it's all worth it in the end.

I have so many things to look foward to in my senior year of University.


Okay okay, all this optimism is going to make me throw up.


Good night all.


(if theres anyone there)