Day 2

My goodness. How such a short time span can change someones perspective about everything.

I thought I wanted to be with him. That my heart was just torn between the two. But I am finally standing up for myself, and not giving into the easiest route. He wants me back, I think we shouldn't be together for a while. I want to explore what this world has to offer, and I guess all I want is his friendship....you all can stop rolling your eyes. It can be possible. Right?

My god I hope I am doing the right thing.I really should get to bed though because I have an English presentation on Prometheus tomorrow. Hah....irony much?

I think it's funny how I feel like I have to be vague about everything in this blog. As if people will read it. Why do I feel like I have to speak in code? Theres nobody to judge me. I guess maybe I feel like I am some sort of epic writer by writing so eloquently online. Bull shit. Maybe I'm just afraid to read back my own raw and uncut thoughts. Afraid that I am going to say that I am willing to sacrifice my sanity for the feeling of being safe and warm once again.

Man, why is it that Drake's music is the only thing that makes me feel good right now? Houstatlantavegas, shut it down, sooner or later..they all just speak to me. If he wasn't such a celebrity I would soooooo be his friend. I wish he could narrate my life in my head for me. Although Drake does kind of remind me of him. His humour, his smile, the way he always makes me feel good. Why don't I feel 100 percent? I guess this is all the risk I am willing to take. I mean, doesn't hurt that he's a good kisser too haha He makes me feel safe, he makes me laugh, he's pretty smart, cultured, and he always tries so hard. Sounds like a great guy huh? Tell me about it. I don't need convincing when it comes to that. I just want to be happy. I just hope that that is what he can give me. It's not like my life is about to be a walk in the park. I have medical school to look forward to (I guess I need to start praying that I get accepted to schools), my whole life. It's hard for someone to tell me that I need to put myself first, when all I want is to be happy with him. But distance is never easy. Aghhhhhhh. Fuck my brain. I hate thinking too much.


Just take me away Drake....Give me this moment to myself. And let me be strong.


Just like Prometheus.